Anticlimatic Re-entry

‘Returners’, what a bloody let down that has been. Okay perhaps that is a tad rash, but coming back for the second year has been controversial; expectation versus reality has… Well let’s just say it’s been interesting.

I knew it would be nothing like the first year, it’s just I really cannot put my finger on what I’m feeling. Other than illness, and the cold. There’s always that pre-term hype (or anxiety) surging around on the social networks or between friends and it generally contributes to some sort of unexpected realisation. But mine has been awfully distant, apathetic, so-so. It’s nothing amazing but at the same time it’s nothing to cry about. You see I am not a fan of the ‘wishy-washy’, but so far living by myself again has surmised nothing but the latter.

When it comes to the new house itself I am content, but nothing more. It’s location is ideal, but I am typing this post from the comfort of an open access centre. That’s all I’ll say on that. It’s getting very cold here, very cold and very rainy. Now usually that wouldn’t be a problem with me, after all it’s what I call ‘writing weather’. But I am still so distracted, I still feel unable to adjust within this familiarly dreary environment. Also, the nights are drawing in, it is safe to say that Autumn is upon us.

Oh Autumn, my favourite season of all. Perhaps it’s the swan-song colours in the trees and the sky, or sharp bite in the air whilst the sun is still in one’s face. Maybe it is partly down to the change in people, as they visibly turn inwards. We grow more sequestered within our thoughts, as we live in the calm before the storm, with winter on the horizon. It’s a season of maturity and underappreciated change, subtle in its approach yet vivid at its peak. I think I romanticise too much. Realistically,  when am I ever going to experience such a season when it is so hopelessly envisioned and sculpted by my imagination?

Because of course I was not provided the season I had hoped for. Instead I must face the drizzly, sub-temperate grey. All the good bits have been taken out and replaced with… Coventry. Fantastic. And I just realised, I have ‘Freshers Flu’. I’m not even a Fresher anymore! Speaking of the devils, perhaps I have grown to be a bitter introvert but I really cannot stand them. I had a hard time dealing with them when I was one, but now there is a year of experience between us they feel like a different species. Yesterday a friend and I were walking home from a rather uneventful reunion with friends when we realised the loathsome ‘pub crawl’ week had started. What we saw next could only be described as a potential Daily Mail field-day in the making, the drunken hysterics that could be heard from miles away… Well I’d initially mistaken it for the apocalypse.

Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, but it strikes me that nothing has changed: This new wave of meat for the grinder should represent the generations that will suffer the most from the insane Uni Fees explosion (courtesy of Mr Cameron and Clegg). You’d think that people from here on out would value education more than ever, but it is the same crowd, the same vibes. Despite the crippling blow that was supposedly dealt to the future of students, the average fresher is still a boozer. I would like to point out right about now (before the hate commences) that I have seen this myself and can say these things almost categorically, I am not a right-wing toff that eats up what the papers tell me, I am going by what I know (having been in the midst of it all). It’s sad but true. Obviously I am not speaking for all students, I’m just talking about the tools that waste their degree time waltzing up and down a street near you at three in the morning, verbalising incoherence or chanting like a spartan.

So the joys of returning have been anticlimatic, I know that my melancholy (or grumpiness) has clouded my entire outlook, but I also know that it won’t last. In a week’s time my lectures for the second year will commence and from that point on I won’t have the time nor the interest to consider my tertiary surroundings. It’s just the wait that is killing me. God, the idleness…

At least I’m back to blogging again.

NoobyTendencies x

(I need a new can-opener…)


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Recently graduated from Coventry University BaHons First-Class Media & Communications Complete with a year of studies overseas (Karlstads Universitet, Sweden) Experienced content creator, videography, photography & graphics. For more information contact Ask for a digital copy of my portfolio!

One response to “Anticlimatic Re-entry”

  1. mandy says :

    Ah my son, welcome back to reality, away from the headonistic and blissfully helsian days of a summer at home, in the bosom of your famile! A poetically well put, heartfelt moan, about all things generally. There is no better way to steal your sole than to bear it colourfully through the power of pen/keyboard.

    I here you, Autumn, whilst beautiful, is a time of reflection and gaurd. We reflect on the year and the warmth (I will use that term loosley) of the spring and summer, that which emerges us from winter and inspires us to ‘do well’ this year, and gives us the optimism we needed after the depths of a dark winter. And then, as is all things cyclical, nature tries to gently disract us through the colour of autumn, whilst knowingly heads us straight back into its dark and icy depths of winter once again…..a seasonal connundrum! And gaurded we become now, as we know all to well that there is only one way forward….sloggingly.

    Perhaps its natures way of making us shape up,’ if you aint got it now, you wont get through it’….In the days of old, only the strongest survived a winter. And yes, autumn and spring are indeed peak times of aggravation (from a homeopathic perspective) and quite often if you are ill or weak those are the times when you will most likely fall ill, suffer or indeed die, hard fact but true!

    At the terrible risk of sounding too profound however, consider that in many parts of the world life is a constant winter; a winter of war, loss, horror, starvation, poverty and injustice at the hands of barbaric men and hateful powers.

    Back to the matter in hand though, every personal hardship is in fact, a personal hardship, so let us not belittle any misery or suffering by ditinguishing this or that. Consider this son, as you well know, for every point of flux, or low ebb, there comes a clarity eventually. Reflection, be it positive or negative, is food for the mind and soul because you know that it is only at these points that you can make a change, embrace a situation or run with the inevitble.

    So here you are….in a less than substantial dwelling, deflated by the hype, disappointed by the predictable, and thinking shit…whats this all about? (in a Canadian accent for the lols!)

    Remember this, this is your journey, the path you have taken to be somebody and get some where. You are not in control of the surroundings, but by God you are in control of your life and seizing your chance. You make me proud every day, you are sensitive and clever, two amazing attributes to own!

    Sensitive is what seperates you from the others, the freshers of this world, and keeps you grounded and makes you ask questions. Clever because you have the intelligence to recognise the bullshit and make the informed decision that that will not be you; and in doing so, have the courage of your own convictions to stay true to waht you beleive in.

    People are as predictable as seasons, and what you see around you will always be the same. Every year will see the same cycle of freshers, shitty accomodation, newly anticipating students, ups and downs drama and reunion. It is how it is…..but, you are only on this bus for a short time, do well, stay strong and when the bus stops for you to get off, hopefully, ney deffo, it will always be summer and autumn will never feel so utterly depressing to you.

    loves you my son xxxxx

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