Best seat in the house.
So I’ve come home, and I’m beginning this uncertain gap between the next semester. There’s this occasional flicker of stress that comes in the form of an errant text or email, reminding me of the things I still need to do, or the things I should worry about back in Coventry. But to likely paraphrase anyone who has got some wisdom – “there’s no point in fretting about stuff all the time.”
Right now it’s the evening, and the sun is still in bloom. There is not a cloud in the sky, yet a cool breeze brushes against my skin. I’ve been loitering outside all day, and I’m finally thinking about stuff again. Well I say ‘stuff’, but I really am just thinking.
That’s right, you can think about stuff without thinking about ‘stuff’. It’s pretty good actually. It’s not like dwelling on worries, it’s not like concentrating on things that need to be done. It’s a sort of half-way house between the two.
I’m pretty content with keeping cosy within my own thoughts, I don’t have to bother with the tedious taxations of social trivia, and I don’t have to plunge head-first into a farce of creative evaluation or contemplation: I’m not quite ready to resume figuring out the next step in a plan that can’t stand on its own two feet yet.
Nope, for now I’m sharing my time with the refreshing little crumbs of a summer that is just about to start, and I might just stay there for a bit.
I’ve got five months to worry about reality, for now I’m enjoying the best seat in the house.