An obsessive-compulsive episode.
I rarely consider OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) to be a hindrance, heck I often forget I have it. I guess we are all creatures of habit, and when you have grown up with something you don’t question it, I didn’t even realise I had half of the ‘symptoms’. Yet there are times when you are unfortunately reminded of the reality.
For me my obsessive compulsive tendencies come out when I am in a stressful situation, or if I have been over-thinking something. It can vary in intensity, from a nagging voice in the back of my mind to an overpowering distraction. Today it was the latter. You know the saying “A tidy house is a tidy mind”? Well it’s true you know, at least it is for me. I tried to ignore it, I tried to shut everything out around me and focus on the work but I failed. The longer I ignored everything the longer it felt as if my head was swimming; it was so bad I felt sick.
Perhaps procrastination and obsessive tendencies share the same part of the brain, because my room wasn’t overly untidy to begin with. Nonetheless I succumbed to the constant nagging from my sub-conscience, and I set about putting everything in order ruthlessly. It’s stupid I know, but after I had remade my bed, hoovered, and squared everything away I felt so much better. The whole time there was this ‘Everything in it’s place’ vibe going through my head, and everything got clearer the tidier everything was. How strange is that?!
I wonder who else suffers from this curse, any of my subscribers perhaps? Or anyone reading this post. As far as I know it isn’t just cleaning, it can be over-thinking to the point where you are obsessing, feeling the urge to clean yourself over and over again, worrying that someone can hear what your thinking, and most commonly of all the paranoia that ‘something’ bad is going to happen. When you look at it all it seems rather ridiculous, but I assure you that mental ticks like these can get you in quite a state. But I’m not crazy or nothing, just know that.
Maybe I shouldn’t have written this post, you’re all going to think I’m a weirdo (if you haven’t reached that conclusion already).