Why you should eat and love Walkers roast chicken flavour crisps.
Those of you who overlook the timid orange packet of Walkers should be ashamed, or at least understand the true extent of the delights you are denying yourself. Have you ever eaten a packet of crisps? Undoubtedly you have, and now its a question of what flavour, and what brand?
Every market is swamped with competitors, who entice the buyer with something that is apparently ‘new and revolutionary’, or exciting and different. But there is only so much you can do with a crisp. Shape them, season them, maybe make them a little differently. But in the end you are still left with a small bag of savoury nibbles.
You could try a fancy brand or an obscure name but be ready for the possibility of a disappointing overpricing and strange after-taste. My advice is go with what you know, and we all know Walkers. They’ve been about forever, but most people never get past the original trinity of red, blue and green.
There are an abundance of different colours, but only one that will actually satisfy the body and the soul, and that is Roast Chicken. Ever so delicately seasoned to perfection with an almost guaranteed satisfaction probability.
But if you aren’t sold yet, I present to you ten reasons why you there should only be space in your pantries for this one delectable flavour…
1) Firstly, chicken is delicious. So anything that tastes like chicken is obviously a success.
2) Secondly, to those of you that say these crisps don’t taste like chicken ask yourself “what does chicken really taste like?” The answer to that is – chicken doesn’t really taste of anything, yet at the same time many things can taste like chicken, and still taste good. Therefore it is impossible to pin the true origin of the taste down to anything other than the arbitrary label of chicken. We assume it is chicken because it tastes good.
3) Whilst rendering your counter argument invalid I also pose another notion: With the fact that ‘chicken’ is an omni-applicable taste taken into consideration, one will soon realise that this can work the other way. This means a packet of Walkers roast chicken crisps can taste like anything and everything good in your life.
4) For some reason the orange packets are not only more appealing on the eye, but the odds are that the crisps they hold are larger and fuller than any other. I don’t know why this happens…
5) Roast chicken flavoured crisps taste great. Wait, did I say that already?
6) Because they are meat flavoured you are more likely to feel in sync with your ancestral ‘hunter/gatherer’ instinct, ergo you feel you can take on anything. This also means they are just as manly as McCoy’s, their crinkly counterpart.
7) Poultry is one of the most widely eaten meats in the world (second only to goat), meaning you are much more likely to succeed in catering for any occasion should you provide chicken flavoured snacks. And until they make a goat flavoured crisp this isn’t changing (and even if they did make that, who would eat it? That’s just disgusting)
8) Crisps are potato based. So if you combine them with meat you create a self-contained meal suitable for any time of the day. Combine this with the fact that they have a long shelf life and require no preparation and you have a legit survival food.
9) According to the packaging they are suitable for vegetarians, so even the veggies can get their meat fix safely. If you are vegan I sympathise…
10) A packet of Walkers roast chicken crisps is only 133 calories, meaning you could eat over a dozen packets every day!
You see? If you aren’t convinced by this information and still don’t want to eat a packet of roast chicken crisps right now then please, kindly ask the person next to you to punch you square in the face. Thank you.