Days of rest, not yet available.
It’s been a week since my last post, or consideration to do anything blog related for that matter. In fact I haven’t thought about anything other than coursework for the past fortnight; no matter how organised you are a deadline will still drag you through every second of every day, until of course it is all over. There comes a point where you become exhausted physically and mentally to such an extent where everything else becomes temporarily irrelevant, overlooked and forgotten. And it is only when you catch your breath in the brief moments of reprieve that you realise this.
My birthday came and went yesterday, it was totally overlooked by everything that needed doing or the sleep that my body clock was indebted to. The whole affair was rather surreal; this being the first birthday away from home or family made it feel like just another day, and that would have been fine with me if it wasn’t such a stressful haze. When they rung me in the morning to wish me well I was already too busy, and lacked the ability to break away from my assignments to thank them fully. It is only now as I type that I realise how unresponsive I acted, and how much I regret that.
It feels like the fresher week again, that was a time spent hushed away in a world of group assignments and antisocial fatigue. Another piece of work down and one or two more take its place, this becomes especially tiresome when they overlap, and the explanation of the tasks are hopelessly vague. I continue to act as a leading role in the group exercises, during which I am looked up to (sometimes more than the lecturers themselves), however the responsibility can easily clash with all the other tasks I find myself buried by. The pressure we all come under has led to me adopting a zero tolerance policy for those within the group who are less than helpful, punctual or independent. For two individuals (who will remain nameless) this has been a sobering experience, or at least it will when I meet the course leader for a formal review of the group’s efficiency and politics.
The modules are coming to an end but they are not over. There is one final push of written work before a well deserved rest period, but I fear this will be a perilous task; one which will expose the cracks in our group as much as the flaws in our own academic fibre. I apologize for not blogging sooner, there is so much I want to talk about, so many things to share with you all. But for now I must keep my head down and rough it out as the last of the storm blows over.
It remains to be seen how these past two modules will be graded. I am definitely more confident with one than the other, but only time will tell which of us on the module have succeeded, or have the edge to make it on this course.
I’ll start posting again in a few days, wish me luck in the meantime…