People never change, so I will. (Not for them though)
And it’s been another week, and it’s been a busy one as always. Halfway through the weekend and I have so much more to do, but that’s fine. I’m happy to be here (as you may gather) and I look forward to every day.
The coursework is getting heavy, but when the deadlines pass I will have plenty of more free time to focus on my other commitments. Another group presentation task was completed for 180MC, where me and my friend Harkul did most of the work, and took all of the stress. ModDB, the community we presented have gained a place in my Cabinet of Curiosities, and the presentation has eared a 1st. That’s the second time now, if I keep it up I can see a very good mark waiting for me at the end of the module. It keeps me going when I look back and realise I am getting good grades, it also leaves me more determined to get nothing but good grades. I’m getting into this mentality of “1st or bust”, and I feel obliged to do the best I can (which at the end of the day is what we should all strive for, but funnily enough is rarely seen at University).
In other news, I have been racking my brains over whether or not I should apply for the BBC production talent pool program. I have a few days left to apply, but I am aware it will conflict with my course in a big way. I could end up moving to Cardiff or London to do work experience. It’s an invaluable prospect, but perhaps now is not the best time to take on such an undertaking. Time will tell if my decision was the right one.
Other than that there is nothing major in terms of University work to report back on.
Now before I wrote this post I was just about to go to bed, but then the phone rang. Waiting for me on the other side of the line was a semi-inebriated ‘friend’ from Hereford. He felt the urge to call me and inform me of his decision to get “Off his tits” as he put it. Now for the first few minutes or so I was certain he was being sincere (As I always try to convince myself), as he talked of how he felt better for quitting college and was now devoting his life to working at Sainsbury’s and ‘getting wasted’. We go back a long time, and there is a distorted history of sincerity and backstabbing behavior between us (or should I say from him). I was aware that other people were with him, I could hear them sniggering in the background. I put it down to being drunk, but when I started talking to him about making the most of coming home he hung up. He rung again and the same thing happened, after that I barred his call and he got the message.
I would love nothing more than to put this down to alcohol, but I know this was just more mocking. This individual makes a habit of getting under my skin and hiding behind a façade of friendship, as do many of my supposed friends back in Hereford. Coming home at Christmas made me realise how immature and small-minded people act. None of my friends had changed, and any attempts of sincerity and maturity on my part were laughed at. I guess I had hoped to come back to find my friends were a little more grown up, but I was disappointed. It pains me to see how people stay stuck in a rut so much, and it angers me how they couldn’t care less.
I know if my mum reads this she will say “How many times have I told you that?!” because she was right all the time, I just didn’t want to hear it.
This Blog serves many purposes. It is firstly and foremost an instrument with which I can showcase my writing as a portfolio, and for my course studies. I operate freely on here, not in the same way other course related bloggers do. I could simply drone out what I have ‘learned’ in seminars and lectures, and literally give a day by day journal of my studies. Maybe I am supposed to do that, but I have prioritized my personal work and creativity over simply saying what ‘I did today’.
The point is, I am not just developing in terms of what I am learning, I am not just mirroring facts and theories. My world is opening up, and its exciting. Ideas, prospects, creations and musings are leaping into existence. So much to look forward to, but I am also developing as a person, not academically but personally. My very identity is being re-crafted with every day of independent life that passes me.
I left Hereford when University life began, physically and mentally. You must understand that with the exception of my family and the countryside (and a very small collection of other people) there is nothing else I would go back for, nothing I miss or yearn for. And it is collisions with the world I once knew that makes me so sure of this.