Where have I been?
Digressive would probably be the best word to sum up this week, followed closely with tiresome, forgetful and hazy. Obviously there is still some lingering illness that is playing havoc with my concentration, and my ability to communicate without forgetting what I was talking about. It has been more frustrating this week than ever, I feel partially lobotomized, and everything seems to be exacerbated by my foggy mind. However there is one nugget of progress that I can take away from this week.
I am starting to rekindle the musical fire as it were, after teaming up with some fellow music lovers and swapping ideas during ‘jam sessions’ across the week. It seems we have started a band of sorts, and have already began a writing process that has left us with five structured songs ready to be perfected and recorded. This isn’t a case of throwing more onto my plate, as this is solely a hobby to pursue in times of total idleness, but it has given me something to feel good about this week. And that definitely counts for something, especially when you feel as useful as a bucket full of holes.
I may post a few updates here and there about what happens in this ‘band’, that is when I am not throwing rants and findings onto the page, or anything else for that matter. I have also decided to start uploading my song lyrics. Yes that’s right, I write lyrics from time to time. Most of them aren’t used, so feel free to read them, I guess they are a form of poetry…
On another note, I ducked out again last Friday. It seems that I get ready to go out, we all get hyped up about the pre-drinks and take pictures of each other for a redundant album on Facebook, then we get there, I get bored and slip away from my friends in the crowd and go home (or I try to and get caught). Perhaps its the booze, or perhaps I don’t like people… I’m not getting pressured into going, I go out because I want to, but it always fizzles out, as if my expectations are dissolved as soon as we queue up. I have lost my faith in clubbing; every time I give it a ‘final chance’ I get disappointed. The drunken girls totter about in six inch heels whilst the guys push each other around and perversely surround their ‘prey’ like vultures, waiting for the inhibitions and sense of self preservation to plummet to nothing. It’s all an ear splitting cocktail of testosterone, sweat and alcohol. It leaves you with a sore head and a suspicion that the DJ was hired as a crowd dispersal weapon, with the intent to haunt you with an array of songs that have either been resurrected from the nineties or were on the Geneva convention’s list as crimes against humanity. I grow weary of this – people never change, so I may as well quit investing in the ‘night life’, because it wastes my time and money.
I apologize for the lack of just about anything new on the blog this week. Like I said, its been largely un-productive and frustrating, with my course modules showing me the faults in my group working skills and this terrible feeling that I am missing something, undoubtedly I will find out what that missing thing is soon enough. In the meantime I will try to get some new stuff up for your viewing or reading pleasure, and perhaps after a few I-doses and cups of coffee I will be up and at it.