Alas, the next edition of the CUEAFS newsletter has been released, follow the link below to read it.
I’m feeling pretty low today, I’m not sure why but I’ll put it down to the generic “Its just one of those days…” Its been a fairly productive day, with plenty of plans being realised, and a good start being made on the group assignment, yet I’m left feeling empty and un-accomplished. This is the worst I have felt at University so far, and to be quite frank with you it sucks. I’m not going to articulate it in a more elegant way, I’m not going to dazzle it with fancy words or a melodramatic writing style, I’ll say it as it is.
I have writers block with my side projects, with any other blog activity, and with the group work. I haven’t done a Vlog for the past week or so, and I just feel like I am behind schedule personally. I have spent the time committed to my society role, and it has got me no where. My writing contributions for this edition were cut up, and no longer resemble my work: This has left me confused, especially when my editor said to me there was nothing wrong with it. I am absolutely certain that I wrote my assigned article in the desired ‘writing style’ and still it is hacked up, the creative flare and elaborate description that I was hailed for in my previous works were stripped away, and made into a drone preview of events. It was clearly stated that a drone preview was not what they wanted, and yet that happens anyway.
I’m worried about my group’s work, our project seems to digress exponentially and I feel left behind with my original suggestions. With me trying to balance all my various works I feel pressured to make leaps I am not prepared or willing to make, and my other group calls for progress that no-one has even been organised enough to work together for.
All I want to do is commit to my studies and side projects without external interference, yet I feel like I’m trying to claw my way out of a rabbit hole, I just sink back in. Corny thing to say? Perhaps, but that’s exactly what it feels like at the moment.
I don’t know how long I will stay in this society anymore. I am seriously considering resignation by the end of the month (at the latest). That way I can pursue my own personal agenda, there are other writing opportunities for me out there which I am very much aware of, and I have to try different things. I need to find my feet as a writer by myself. I have so much to do, and I know that I have so little time.
I promised 8 Cabinet Items to go up, I apologize for not hitting my target; I must get through this week, and then I will re-assess my situation, and continue my personal work accordingly.
That’s it for now.