Coffee, contemplation and calculating fictional business.
Today could only be described as a laborious yet somehow furious struggle for academic survival, in fact the more I look back on it the more pivotal it appears to me. The frequently mentioned ‘business plan’ that I have babbled about in previous Vlogs and Blogs has had my awareness for little over too long now, with its incessant call for attention leaving everything else of importance in my life grinding down to a full miserable halt. Being a part of my ‘addvantage’ requirements this creative enterprise module really is the cruelly appointed clincher, bearing the potential to end my academic life there and then should I get a less than satisfactory result: So where does that leave me? Wading through bureaucratic red tape and filling out a thirty-one page death warrant for my imagination, also known as my incompetent notions of business (heaven forbid you should call this an over exaggeration).
They always tell you to sprint in your last few meters, so that’s exactly what I did, only to find it would still take me a day and leave me completely burned out for the coming day of lectures, seminars and article writing for an editor that thinks I have nothing else on my apparently lax agenda “so I can get the piece done by Friday”… The worst thing is the diabolical plunge into the business deep end is not over, I still have four pages left. Okay so it is out of thirty or so pages but these look to be the worst yet, I fear them more than anything else at this current point in time, because I know they stand between me moving forward on my course, or me going home.
It is fortunate that I chose to ‘sprint’ now instead of tomorrow, at least I have another day to finish off the piece. However I predict exhaustion, an overbearing work load, and of course my editor asking for progress I really cannot afford to make yet. Today was too long a day, only the smell of cold coffee in the air and the bassy din of an album I simply did not have the energy to change guided me through the hours. That vibe is becoming increasingly familiar, and I do not like that at all. A lecturer called it the ‘life of an academic’, as if to glorify the over consumption of coffee and lack of sleep/peace of mind. I can categorically say now that if they were trying to sell something to us, they failed.
When at long last I threw in the towel and walked away from my work, I felt embittered and defeated. A long shower whilst re-assessing my week schedule and contemplating the coming module was repeatedly interrupted with Vietnam style flashbacks of the terrible business plan struggle, truly this has left an imprint of a foul nature.
Now I lie in my bed, typing this on my little laptop, trying to restore some peace to my week. Yet the drunkards out on the street put that chance down, with their hooligan-esque carols of inebriation and ‘feeling good about stuff’, I extend my gratitude to you locals of Coventry.
Maybe its all a cruel irony, I started this day with a relaxed manner, enjoying the so-called calm before the storm. Clearly I had no idea what was waiting for me in that word document, this was no easy way to launch one’s self back into the world of studies.